ANNOUNCING OUR RAINBOW BABY : PREGNANCY AFTER LOSS

Our prayers have been answered.

First, I’d just like to say….

To the women in waiting,

The ones that see yet another pregnancy announcement on their instagram feed and roll their eyes or feel tears well up as they quickly scroll by. I’ve been there. I know the feeling…. “ugh, not another one.” I’d think to myself. “That would’ve been me.” I used to cry and feel angry. Then feel guilty for feeling angry. Nothing hurts more than an empty womb, specially when you’re longing for a healthy baby to join your family soon. To the women who can relate, I just want to say, I see you. I see your pain, I see your struggle. Keep your head up mama! You are so strong and deserving of this blessing. God is sending you your baby too – I know it. ♡ xo

Here we are! Expecting our precious baby #2 (yet again).

After our miscarriage in early August 2018, Aaron and I were left with the question of when to start trying again. Aaron told me he was ready when I was, but ultimately he wanted to leave the decision up to me. I prayed, I talked to my doctor, I spent nights researching about trying again after miscarriage and pregnancy after loss. After spending some time letting the idea dance around in my head, I realized I wanted to try again. I not only wanted to, I needed to. I needed to accept our loss, I needed to not let that experience hold me back from our dream of growing our family, and I needed to trust my body again. Most importantly, I needed to trust that God’s plan is greater than my own.

So we decided to start trying again as soon as my HCG levels returned to zero.

I’ll be honest, I wanted to get pregnant again so badly, but I wasn’t very confident that it’d actually happen. I had so many fears that my miscarriage had somehow changed my body. I feared that maybe it was my body that failed our previous baby.

But on the morning of September 30, 2018 11 dpo (days passed ovulation), I found myself staring into the window of yet another pregnancy test. As that faint second line appeared, happy tears filled my eyes, my heart dropped into my butt, and Gannon and I thanked God as we happy danced around and around right there in our bathroom.

I took test after test for the following 4 days, and let me tell you, it never gets old seeing those two pink lines.

It’s emotional and feels a bit different finding out you’re pregnant again after miscarriage. I was so happy, but so afraid to allow myself to get too excited. It didn’t feel like a “for sure” thing. Getting that BFP (big fat positive) didn’t feel like a guarantee that we’d actually be welcoming a new baby into our family in just 8 months time. It felt more like one giant step forward, in a marathon yet to come.

I know now more than ever that this baby could be taken from me at any given moment – but I’ve chosen to stay positive. For myself and for this baby, I’ve chosen not to stress over things that are far beyond my control. I just want to focus on the beauty of this pregnancy! I want to allow myself to feel that overwhelming joy this pregnancy has brought me and the unconditional love that I already have for this baby.

I feel so unbelievably grateful to even be here typing these words. To be announcing our rainbow baby!

And can you believe it? ANOTHER June baby joining the Brothers family. If you’ve read my page Meet Shalynn, you know that June is a very special month for our family. Well, it’s about to get a whole lot more special!

So, when is our due date you ask? Our due date is June 13, 2019, mine and Aaron’s 4 year anniversary! HOW INCREDIBLE IS THAT!

I want to be real with you guys, this isn’t the timing that we thought it’d be and this wasn’t the timing that we had originally planned – but this is better! This is God’s timing. The Lord works in mysterious ways! This is His plan for our family….. and I know that this baby, and the timing of this baby, is EXACTLY what’s meant to be.

Although I’ll never forget our precious angel baby, Dawsyn, I know that God is holding our baby close and that our family is so blessed to have such a precious guardian angel. God has hand chosen this glorious rainbow baby just for us and I’ll continue to have faith that this little one is healthy as can be!

Our rainbow baby is meant to be here, meant to be Gannon Beau’s little brother or sister.